Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?

No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

That is all.

Laters. xx

Living The Dream

Hey Caro  people!
Back to square one with the positive vibes.
Not such a good week this last fortnight.
I have a dilemma.
My bestie has gone and opened up her own cafe.
And I'm now unemployed.
Oh, did I not mention the handing in of the notice 'cause I'd had enough thing?
Well....Let's start at the beginning. I've been told it's the best place. And let's face it, we're all looking for a best place.
I like to think of myself as a worker. Sometimes hard, sometimes not. Let's face it, we all try to work hard.
Well, I did. Sometimes over 60 hours a week, basic wage, no overtime. Yes. That is exploitation, but, as many Brits do, I needed the money. Until it got way out of hand.
Let me explain.
The owner of the establishment I worked in, and myself, seemed  to have a clash of personalities. She, being the owner would always win. So I handed in my notice. For the 12 months I was there, I received 3 written warnings (the 3rd time for not cleaning the floor properly). Bearing in mind I had no witnesses at all and the printer ran out of ink the 3rd time, so I didn't receive anything in writing. Although I was told they would be on my record for 6 months.
Apart from all that, my bestie went and opened a cafe without me.
This was our dream for years. And now I'm left by the wayside while she has her own business.
I have been asked to go help and I'd love nothing more but, I wouldn't get a wage. And who can live on fresh air?
Jealous? Damn right! Who wouldn't be? Especially since she never let on to her 'bestie' what she was doing. I guess I've got to accept that we're drifting apart. Sad times. But we all move on and all live the dream, apparently.

Laters.xx

Resolutionary.

Hey people!
It's been a while eh?
I've been dealing with a lot of really personal stuff that I've now came to terms with. So I figured that it was time to annoy you guys again with my (in)coherent ramblings.

Since then, I've been working hard trying to get my life in check.
Now, let me think back to where I left you guys. Oh yeah. Those resolutions!
Meep! Okay. I'm beginning to say no. I've refused my daughter babysitting duties. And before you all jump on the proverbial bandwagon, I was exhausted and she gave me an hour's notice. Would you've?
So yeah, I'm beginning to say no! Go me!
The confidence thing I believe, comes with saying no. How many times have you said no and felt good afterwards? A few is my guess.
I'm working on making time for the people that matter. Obviously close family know how many hours I work and that one phone call would bring me straight to them, I still need to work on the whole friend issue. If you're a friend, you'll know what I mean. (Maybe).
Hmm...Meet a man? It's only January! Early days yet?! Unless you faithful followers know any single, good looking men out there.
The 'build a business' is, at the moment, looking good. That's all I'm saying. It may fall through, it may not. Early days. Enough said on that matter. ;)
So, my friends, that's that. It's been great to catch up and if there's any words with the letter 'c' missing it's because that particular key sticks on my keyboard. What can I say, I'm a left handed drinker. ;)

Laters xx

Resolutions.

So, Christmas time is upon us once again. Was it not July just last week? Or is my life seeping away before my very eyes without me knowing anything about it? Time to change! Yes people, it's not only Christmas, it's resolution time. How many did you make last year? And more to the point, how many did you keep?
I made none last year. I never stick to them, so why bother was my attitude. This year has completely changed my attitude. Sooooo....I've decided to make some resolutions and not only try and keep 'em but, post 'em on here so I can have you lot on my back about them too. So, here goes.
1. Learn to say no.
2. Gain some confidence.
3. Make time in my life for the people that really matter.
4. Meet a man. (I'm human! I don't want to be on my own forever and I'm no spring chicken.)
5. Concentrate on building a business. Maybe go to University.

That's about it this year.
Gulp. It's gonna be one scary year!

Laters. x


ps. While writing this, a certain friend of mine posted a picture of an arachnid on the book of face. My 'puter was nearly out the window. Thanks for that Carolyne!!

Building Blocks of Life.

Hello, hello, hello.
I know I've been away for awhile, but my regulars will know that I've had a lot to process over the last few weeks. A lot to come to terms with. And I believe I have come to terms with most of it.
#1 daughter is happily settled into her new home with her partner and is quite the little domestic goddess.
#2 daughter is like the proverbial duck to water with motherhood.
And I'm slowly coming to terms with my mother's condition.
Life is a funny old thing. In one way or another we deal with every blow that's dealt to us. And sometimes, nae, most-times, it makes us strong enough to deal with the next thing life throws in our direction.
These challenges seem to be the building blocks for adulthood. But are they really?
Like a kid that's built the wrong building with Lego, he knocks it down and rebuilds. Wouldn't it be great to be able do that with life.
It's cliché to say I don't regret anything in my life. So yes, I put my hands up and say yes! I regret a lot of decisions in my life. But if I never made those decisions  how different would my life be? Is it a case of 'better the devil you know?' No-one is capable of answering that question so we all carry on and make our decisions, whether they be right or wrong. We are all born to die. It's the decisions we make during our time here that decide how happy we are. Or are the decisions we make already mapped out for us?
You decide.

Laters x

Why?

My mum has cancer.
That was a difficult sentence to write.
My mum has never smoked a cigarette in her life. But she has cancer.
My mum is fitter than me yet she has cancer.
My mum came into contact with asbestos 40/50 years ago. This is why she has cancer.
Why is this fair?
Why?



Why?

Stalker Update.

Yes. I met my stalker. And her husband. And what a pair!
They are one of the nicest couples I've ever had the pleasure to know and I hope to keep in touch with my new found friends for years to come.
They are planning on coming to Scotland every other year but that's not enough for me.
I believe I'm gonna have to go visit Wales next time I'm in Weymouth. I think Weymouth is closer to Wales than Scotland but don't quote me on that as my geography is ridiculous. Either way, Look out Wales!

Laters. x